How to ruin your life in three steps: A fly angler’s guide to managing life, or not.
Image credit: Brian Grossenbacher
Some call it an obsession. Others say you’ve been bitten by the bug. Whatever you call it, fly fishing is a pastime that will influence your personal life, travel options, budget, and intimate relationships. If you’re not careful, it just might ruin your life. If you are interested in this sport (yes, it is a sport), follow my sure-fire three-step program to begin your journey to failing at everything else, or not. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Pursue passions that make zero income exclusively
Choose a hobby that you have no ability to perfect, ever.
Make sure it costs a small fortune and your spouse doesn’t enjoy it
There you have it. A sure-fire way to ruin your life in three easy steps. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s discuss why fly fishing will ruin your life in ways you had no idea you needed. Conventional thinking will have you steering clear of those three steps to not cause chaos in one’s life. I’d say conventional thinking would be right except when aligning yourself to a fulfilling existence in a modern world that feeds you philosophy, marriage, and finance advice as fast as you can consume it through our handheld devices. Throw that shit out the window before reading the next paragraph about why you should follow the advice of a fellow angler who has achieved minimal success in angling and life while finding a pastime that has improved every element of how I show up in the world.
Still here? Good. Let’s dive into my advice for finding a different perspective on ruining your life.
Step one: Pursue a passion that makes zero-income
You may be thinking, “I could guide.” True, but if you like to fish, don’t become a guide; it’s not what you think it is.
Okay. “Well, I could sell my flies.” Yup, you could but how much time do you have and are they really that good? Probably not but keep working on it.
“I’ll open a fly shop.” Best of luck to you my friend and your pursuit to love the dirtbag turned flyshop owner dream.
Seriously if these are your dreams, go for them. Ruin your life just like mine. I’m working on all three. Here’s the thing, at the end of it all, none of this will matter. Not even the fish. Fly fishing is about having or sharing an experience in a place and frequently with those you love. It builds an amazing bond and joy that is hard to duplicate, and I believe that is worth its weight in my continued attempts to create income. The blood sweat and tears have given me the best friendships and closeness to my family. Who wouldn’t want to ruin their life for that? Sign me up. Fishing itself is all about dreams of adventure. You’re looking for possibilities. Whether it’s the biggest fish, looking for the next river bend, and finding solace. It’s all about dreams and if you want to get closer to fishing full-time, go for it.
Step two: Choose a hobby you can never perfect
The “art” of fly fishing always provides a new technique, sometimes long breaks due to weather and the pursuit of the perfect cast and dragless drift. There will never be a shortage of knots, trees, or wind which will cause you havoc even on your best days.
This rabbit hole goes deep my friends. First, it’s your buddy saying, “Why don’t you pause a little longer on that backcast,” and that turns into a mindless journey of understanding and piece of equipment, tying materials, flow rates, hatch chart, and YouTube influencer. The best part, or the worst, because beauty is objective is that you’ll find friends just like you who piss off their spouses on the regular and throw dollars at the cash register in pursuit of a tiny fish on the smallest stream you’ve ever seen.
Don’t believe them when they say, “You’ll save money because you tie.” It’s never been true for me or anyone else as we’ve just got addicted to buying and tying and tying until our boxes are full. So, what do we do? But more boxes because our fly fishing junkie bodies can’t help sitting still when our season closes. Do you want to know what we do with those flies? I tell ya. We lose them! On rocks, trees, bushes! Hell, even a bird came and stole one from me while waiting for a hatch to start. Don’t worry the bird was fine.
Casting. Tying. Endless new conditions and rivers ensure you’ll never perfect this hobby. But I will admit, on the off chance you land a dry fly right above a feeding trout, add the perfect mend, drift it perfectly into the feeding land, and watch the trout take it, you’ll never forget the moment and suddenly everything will be right as rain. The trick is to just focus on one cast at a time.
Step three: make sure it costs a small fortune and your spouse doesn’t enjoy it.
Pay attention, little boys and girls, uncle Ash is taking you to school on this one. The easiest way to save your relationship when ruining your life with fly fishing is to encourage your partner to fall in love with it too. That way no one is counting the dollars or time spent away and you’ll have a fishing buddy who you’ve already negotiated who the spoon will be in the tent.
If you are one of the unfortunate souls who may have missed the boat on this one, may the odds be in your favor, and may your partner have a hobby of their own that takes them away early, brings them back late, and causes them to make special arrangements with the delivery driver so the packages are never seen unless you want them to be.
Shoutout to Andy, my driver, who knows how to slide my packages under the back bush. He too is an avid angler and understands. We need more Andy’s in the world. Bless that man.
Gear can be expensive, but companies do have affordable options. These options,
Such as combo kits, are wonderful to start with. As your skill grows, you may want to upgrade your setup. This isn’t necessarily needed but most anglers can’t help themselves. It’s like when you were a kid and people told you, “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap.” Once you mature in fly fishing you’ll want multiple setups, lines, etc… and these things come with a cost. Don’t get me wrong, your rod should last a lifetime, so make a good choice here. Your grandchildren can fish this rod if you take care of it properly. Let’s just call our rods investments in the bloodline’s future. That’s what I tell my wife.
In all seriousness, if your partner isn’t an angler, you’re bound to get in trouble a few times as you’ll lose track of time in nature. Your body will want to stop for a beer after catching his PB Brookie and you must oblige. When fishing, we tend to forget about the world around us. It’s her gift and curse. Time stands still and responsibility melts away. There is a single focus, the next cast, then the next river bend, and finding the perfect fly.
During these moments you’ll feel free. You’ll breathe deeper, connect to the river, laugh harder, and see people truly for who they are before the world told them who they should be. There is nothing, nothing more special than being a part of rewilding a heart. Especially when it’s yours.
Generally, you’ll get out of trouble but don’t forget to plan for it. Buy your partner their favorite candy or make time for a date night. Gotta build up the coins to cash in for that next trip. When your travel plans are secretly a fishing trip, make sure there is something for them as well so it’s not as obvious. My wife loves to write, so I’m blessed to have a partner who wants to sit in beautiful settings tapping away in her imagination. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Once it takes over your life, don’t forget to make room for what they love while you go deeper down the rabbit hole.
If you’re still reading, you’re probably already pretty deep into the fly fishing fever. I hoped to have made you smile or reminded you it’s never too late to straighten up and quit this damn sport but who would ever want to do that? For all it takes, it multiplies the most important things. Time in nature with people you love, finding peace of mind and heart, but most importantly, it’s a lifetime of joy. I wish you the tightest of lines.
This article first appeared in Lake & C0 Magazine Spring 2024 Issue